Hillary & Chelsea Clinton Crash James Corden's Monologue

Hillary & Chelsea Clinton Crash James Corden's Monologue

BLESS YOU, EVERYBODY.

LOTS OF NEWS TO COVER, LET'S GETRIGHT INTO IT.

SOME BAD NEWS FOR PRESIDENTTRUMP TODAY.

A MAJOR WITNESS IN THEIMPEACHMENT INQUIRY HAS NOW CHANGED HIS TESTIMONY.

AMBASSADOR GORDON SONDLAND, WHOPREVIOUSLY SAID THERE WAS NO “QUID PRO QUO, ” A FAVOR FOR AFAVOR, AS PART OF TRUMP'S NEGOTIATIONS WITH UKRAINE.

WELL, NOW, HE'S SAYING THEREWAS.

YEAH.

WOW.

THE THING ABOUT TRUMP WE ALLKNEW WAS TRUE TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE.

( LAUGHTER )WHAT ARE THE CHANCES? IN HIS EARLIER TESTIMONY, THEAMBASSADOR SAID THERE WAS NO “QUID PRO QUO, ” BUT THEN HEFOUND OUT WHAT “QUID PRO QUO” MEANT AND WAS LIKE, “OH, YEAHTHERE WAS DEFINITELY THAT.

” ( LAUGHTER ) THE AMBASSADOR HAS NOW REVISE HIS TESTIMONY.

WHILE I IMAGINE PRESIDENT TRUMPIS NOW “REVISING” THE AMBASSADOR'S EMPLOYMENT STATUS.

( LAUGHTER )IN OTHER IMPEACHMENT NEWS, ACCORDING TO A NEW REPORT, THEREPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE ORGANIZED THOUSANDS OF PHONECALLS TO DOZENS OF HOUSE DEMOCRATS TO JAM UP THEIR PHONELINES DURING THE IMPEACHMENT INQUIRY.

THE IDEA WAS TO OOD THE LINESAND STALL THE INVESTIGATION.

THESE MONSTERS.

( LAUGHTER )PHONE CALLS? ( LAUGHTER )TO A LAND LINE? ( LAUGHTER )IF THEY LEFT VOICEMAILS TOO, THEY SHOULD BE CHARGED WITHWAR CRIMES.

( LAUGHTER )NOW, HERE'S THE PROBLEM WITH CALLING SOMEONE TO JAM UP THEIRPHONE LIS: YOU'RE ALSO JAMMING UP YOUR PHONE LINE.

( LAUGHTER )YOU'RE LIKE, “HA! I SHOWED THEM, THEY WERE STUCKON THE PHONE FOR HOURS, WHEREAS I WAS.

.

.

WELL, I WAS ALSO STUCKON THE PHONE FOR HOURS.

” THEY MADE 11, 000 PHONE CALLS.

YOU KNOW IT'S NOT A GOOD SIGNWHEN REPUBLICANS ARE ACTING THE SAME WAY I DID WHEN MY HIGHSCHOOL GIRLFRIEND BROKE UP WITH ME.

( LAUGHTER )MOVING ON, DURING AN INTERVIEW TO PROMOTE HIS NEW BOOK, DONALDTRUMP JUNIOR SAID THAT HIS FATHER MONITORS HIS SOCIAL MEDIAAND WILL TELL HIM TO CALM DOWN WHEN HE GETS, “A LITTLE HOT ONSOCIAL.

” ( LAUGHTER )WHEN DONALD TRUMP HAS TO TELL YOU TO CALM DOWN ON TWITTER, YOUKNOW YOU'VE GOT A PROBLEM.

( LAUGHTER )TRUMP WARNED DONALD JUNIOR THAT HIS SON'S SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCEWAS “GETTING A LITTLE HOT.

” MAKING THIS THE FIRST TIMEANYONE IN THE TRUMP ADMINISTRATION HAS ACKNOWLEDGEDTHAT AN INCREASE IN TEMPERATURE WAS MAN-MADE.

( LAUGHTER )( APPLAUSE ) ( CHEERING )IN OTHER POLITICAL NEWS, AS YOU MAY KNOW, PEOPLE ALL OVER THECOUNTRY VOTED TODAY FOR STATEWIDE AND LOCAL RACES.

BUT PRESIDENT TRUMP SEEMED TO BEOBSESSED WITH ANOTHER KIND OF VOTING, BECAUSE HE TWEETED “VOTEFOR SEAN SPICER ON “DANCING WITH THE STARS.

” ( LAUGHTER )HE IS A GREAT AND VERY LOYAL GUY WHO IS WORKING VERY HARD! HASHTAG MAGA”( LAUGHTER ) IF YOU DON'T REMEMBER SEANSPICER, HE IS TRUMP'S FORMER PRESS SECRETARY.

HERE'S WHAT HE LOOKED LIKE THEN.

AND HERE'S WHAT HE LOOKS LIKENOW.

( LAUGHTER )WHILE WORKING FOR TRUMP, SPICER WAS OFTEN ACCUSED OF GOING ONTELEVISION AND LYING TO THE COUNTRY.

AND HE CONTINUES TO DO JUST THATBY GOING ON “DANCI WITH THE STARS” AND REFERRING TOHIMSELF AS A “STAR.

” ( LAUGHTER )WHY IS SEAN SPICER EVEN ON “DANCING WITH THSTARS?”POLITICIANS DON'T BELONG ON ENTERTAINMENT SHOWS.

THESE SHOWS ARE FOR CELEBRITIESNOT POLITICAL FIGURES.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )YEAH, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WITH ME.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WOW.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WOW.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )WOW.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HILLARY AND CHELSEA CLINTON? ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )HILLARY AND CHELSEA CLINTON? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? >> WELL, WE HEARD YOUR JOKESBACKSTAGE AND FELT IT WAS OUR CIVIC DUTY TO END THISHUMANITARIAN CRISIS.

( LAUGHTER )>> YOU KNOW, I REALLY AM FED UP WITH ALL OF YOUR TRUMP JOKESEVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

( LAUGHTER )IF ANYONE SHOULD BE TELLING TRUMP JOKES, IT'S ME.

( LAUGHTER )( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> JAMES: ALL RIGHT, YOU'VE GOTSOMETHING TO SAY ABOUT DONALD TRUMP TRYING TO GET VOTES FORSEAN SPICER ON “DANCING WITH THE STARS?”WELL, THE STAGE IS YOURS.

GO FOR IT.

GO AHEAD, ET IN THERE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> ACTUALLY, I DO.

YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BLAME TRUMPFOR TRYING TO HELP.

SEAN SPICER.

IF THERE'S ONE THING WE'VELEARNED, IT'S THAT THESE GUYS REALLY CAN'T WIN THE POPULARVOTE.

( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )>> JAMES: CHELSEA, DO YOU WANT TO GET IN ON THIS? >> SURE.

FORMER WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMANSEAN SPICER IS NOW ON “DANCING WITH THE STARS.

” IT'S AN IMPROVEMENT FROM HIS OLDJOB, “DANCING AROUND THE ISSUES.

” ( RIM SHOT )>> JAMES: THIS IS GREAT.

DO YOU WANT TO DO ANOTHER STORY, HILLARY? >> OH, SURE, BUT PLEASE CALL MESECRETARY CLINTON.

( LAUGHTER )>> JAMES: OKAY.

APOLOGIES, SECRETARY CLINTON.

( LAUGHTER )CHELSEA, DID YOU SEE HOW “THE NEW YORK TIMES” JUST ANALYZEDALL OF PRESIDENT TRUMP'S TWEETS? >> I DID.

THERE WERE SOME PRETTY SHOCKINGREVELATIONS.

FOR EXAMPLE, 50% OF TRUMP'STWEETS HAVE BEEN ATTACKS ON PEOPLE, WHILE 100% HAVE BEENATTACKS ON THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

( RIM SHOT )( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )>> PRETTY SHOCKING.

IT CAME OUT TO A TOTAL OF 6, 000TWEETS ATTACKING PEOPLE.

EVEN MORE SURPRISING, ONLY 3, 000OF THOSE WERE ABOUT MY EMAILS.

( RIM SHOT )( APPLAUSE ) >> JAMES: ALL RIGHT.

LET'S DO THIS.

ARE YOU READY? I'M JAMES CORDEN, SHE'SSECRETARY CLINTON, SHE'S CHELSEA CLINTON, WE'RE GOING TO TALKABOUT THEIR “BOOK OF GUTSY WOMEN” LATER ON THE SHOW.

REGGIE, YOU READY? THIS IS THE “LATE LATE SHOW.

” ROLL THE TITLES.

.

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